....A progression towards another reality....

Monday, December 24, 2012

Who Am I? . . . another key to self healing!!

Who am I really?
I am jumping to an answer, an esoteric one. I haven’t realized it yet but have read the essence of the "so-called" answer in many answers given by the great meditators, the realized souls.
Tat tvam asi - "'That' you are" or “you are 'That'”! 
Here 's my humble attempt to articulate my understanding of 'That' and ways of applying this awareness for self-healing.
Who is ‘That’ and who am ‘I’?
I am Pragati! Pragati Oswal! That’s the first answer I reach when I question who I am. A daughter to my parents, who bestowed upon me, the name-form!  Who else am I? I deconstruct various parts of my life creating an endless list of ‘tags’ - a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, a student, a therapist, a healer, an acquaintance  etc.  – It’s all me. (Nothing new from anyone’s point of view!)
But that is how another identifies me. I am all that too, but I am not only that.  Who am I?
I take a good look at myself in the mirror for a very familiar ‘reflection’ and say, ‘That’ is Pragati. Then I look at my picture when I was younger, a face, a body I don’t relate to any longer. But back then I still identified with another face of mine.  If I was Pragati then, who am I now? I still am Pragati! Something in me remains the same, unchanged, unaffected by the change in my bodily appearance with respect to the time gone by.  Clearly, ‘that’ which remains unchanged in me is not my body.  In other words, something in me is not subject to my body.
Also, I wonder what influences change in my body? The obvious answer is age. Age is but a product of time. What else? Environment, lifestyle, habits, circumstances, situations, relationships and the stress which comes in tow, all are but products of time.
Yet ‘that’ (which remained constant while my body changed) did see ‘Pragati’ as she went about her multiple phases collecting relationship ‘tags’, know-hows, degrees, laurels, “phobias and –philias”, affections and affectations etc. ‘That’ in ‘Pragati’ is independent of ‘Pragati’ as she changes but it accompanies the changing ‘Pragati’ at all times.
Can you identify that 'That' in you? If you don’t, try to read again while you replace my name with your own and the nouns and pronouns according to your gender (if you like). Can you identify that 'That' in you - “The Witness”, beyond the ‘Pragati’?
If you have succeeded in identifying 'the witness', please proceed to the next exercise (for self-healing) else my friend like my another ‘self’ (which always requires a more logical explanation) I’ll find another, a finer analytical way to help you identify the witness, but, another time in another blog.

Exercise for healing pain – physical and emotional (Remember to replace my name with yours)
Ask these questions in the same or a different order for some time (20-30 minutes or more)
  1. Ask your pain “Who are you?”
  2. Who is the pain? 
  3. Which part of ‘Pragati’ is the pain? 
  4. Go back in time when 'Pragati' feels pain free.
  5.  Who is ‘that’ which remained unchanged in Pragati then?
  6. If you don’t feel the unchanged part, repeat the first five steps a few times. Proceed to the next one only after you get a momentary glimpse or a feel of that unchanged within.
  7. Focus on the unchanged, the pain free.
  8. Command yourself to revert to the unchanged.
  9. Become the unchanged, become pain free.
  10. Repeat the whole exercise at least 5-6 times. It'll take you about 20 - 30 minutes.
In the beginning you might feel only a momentary relief in the pain. With a bit of practice, you can alleviate the pain at will. If you merge with the unchanged, you won’t have any further questions (or so they say), but do remember to write to me.
To you and the witness within

P.S. A humble note - ‘That’ has been called Sat-Chit-Ananda or existence-consciousness-bliss, the brahman or the universal spirit but I haven’t reached that conclusions as yet.


  1. You have come a long way, Pragati. " One bird eats the fruit of the tree and the other one watches".

    Wish you all the best...Narendra

  2. 10 january 2013

    dear pragati,

    happy new year to you and praveen. i read your blog of dec24, a few minutes back.

    some years back i read a simple book written by one dada bhagwan and he had mentioned a very similar thing. he said, he was called by more than 15 names by different relations and then he was confused as to which of those 15 names was he? he later reailsed that all these names were given to his body and that he was not that body. then he realised that he was that 'chetna' or 'consciousness' which was name-less and moved from one body to another through ages.

    i found this (thought) interesting in dealing with another kind of hurt and pain which was not physical in nature. i had many participants in a training module asking me about how to overcome the pain of injustice or pain of being scolded by a manager for no fault of theirs. i started using this analogy and asked the person if the scolding or the pain was inflicted to that person's name (that was synonymous to that body) or to the 'chetna'? the answer was usually - 'the body with some name'. once that person saw that (s)he was not that body, it bacame that much easier to look at that pain or mental agony in a very detatched manner and that helped the person function with less difficulty. care was taken to ensure that this did not make the person thick-skinned and a pain for that organisation.

    you have expressed the same philosophy but then your suggestions - if followed - even relieve the physical pain of that body.

    pragati, (to me it seems that)you have undertaken a journey to the unknown, more than 7 years back and these outbursts will be more common in days to come.

    just 'be'.

    with fond regards,

    hitesh uncle.